Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Texas Special Session Blues, I'm Just A bill (remix)

I'm a bad bill
I'm a really bad bill
And I'm comin' after more than your pill
Well it's from Texas to Ohio
And in North Carolina
It's a war on women
And a battle for vagina
Sharia isn't too far away 
You better hope and pray that I will
Stay right here as nothing more than a bill

Boy: Gee bill, you sure could be a pain in the uterus for women.

Bill: Well you got that right. Pain in the uterus, ovaries. Hell, when I started, I wasn't even a bill, I was just a bad idea. But some folks think it's the 1950s all up in here. If they had their way it'd be the 1850s! They like to call that the good old days. With women barefoot, pregnant, no vote... you know, baby vessels. The way god intended!

I'm a bad bill
I'm a really bad bill
Owning your uterus just gives 'em a thrill
Well now they'll tell ya how to use it
For how long and how many
They'll be in charge of your vagina and you know there won't be any
Decisions that belong to you
Well some hope and pray that they will
Limit rights and instill their god's will

Boy: Listen to those legislators arguing! Is all that discussion and debate about you?

Bill: If you could even call it a debate. Let me give you the short version, kid: ladies, keep your legs and your mouth shut. They sure as shit aren't listening to women on this one. 

Boy: Women?

Bill: Yeah, women. You know, people. With rights. Whoa! They're railroading this thing! Now I go to the House of Representatives, and they vote on me.

Boy: If they vote yes, what happens?

Bill: Then we're one step closer to theocracy.

Boy: Oh no!

Bill: Oh yes!

I'm a bad bill
I'm a really bad bill
And if they vote for me I think I'll be ill
Well, then I'm off to Rick Perry
You know he wants to sign
I'm red meat for the base
Oops! he must have lost his mind
If he signs me, then I'll be a law
How I hope and pray Wendy will
Stand up tall so I stay just a bill

Boy: You mean if Wendy Davis filibusters again we can keep you from becoming a law?

Bill: Not likely. And don't count on a veto. You see right-wing politicians everywhere are coming up with new ways to wage a war on women. This could go to the U.S. Congress and even back to the Supreme Court. I thought we worked this shit out years ago!

That's why I explain that I will
Be a pain I am still a bad bill

Congressman: He signed you, Bill! Now you're a law!

Bill: Oh no!

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